Harish Palaniappan's

The Break

"When do I get my break?".. asked Latha when she saw that her name was not on the list of promotees to the top-manager levels of the company. Latha was so looking like just seeing her graduation results on the mail and screaming she didn't score well.

Latha sat back thinking.. some flashes.. and there's a flashback, from as far as she can remember.

It was her first day at office:
"Companies have exams too.. we call it appraisals", said Raghavan with a broad smile which he kept as long as anybody could count to 20.

Raghavan doesn't like formal wear, he wears just-over-the-knee trousers, and has this bright bulb on his face... always has this long broad grin on his face.. not to mention he is the HR of this company which just grew to 230 employees with this batch of new joinees.

yea, some people have this joke at the corner desks in the office.. about raghavan.. "what a non-human they found for the human resources".

Raghavan further continues, "..and results are generally published 3 months later, directly to your emails... not in newspapers, we have no plans".. grins again.. this time till 30.

the CEO addressed the gathering of new employees next... Latha was on the second row with many fellow new-comers. She was all ears to everybody speaking. They were all inspiring gods who gave her the job... so it was obvious.

Scene shifts to training hall:

Latha underwent a mandatory training program for new-comers. 3 months of it. "uh.. prabu, victor, priya, gauri .. most of them who were there along with me are promoted" she thought.

"After 3 months you will be either put in a project, if we can find a suitable position.. or just in a desk until the suitable position arises in the company..", said one of those 3 people from the HR who took turns and spoke on what's next (on the first day of training).

"we call it the bench.. ", said another of the three, smiling.. and continued, "you might have been on bench at schools.. but here you will be on bench on two occassions.. either we didnt find a suitable project, or you are part of a team which completed one and hasn't been given a new project later"..

That was all too much to dream of for Latha.. but she was listening.

After a moment.. the 3rd person added.. "also you will be on bench, when you are working in an onsite location outside the country, and if we wish to keep you there until we get you another project in the same location"

Everyone was already dreaming of taking photographs at the Niagara, the Eiffel, .. some guys even dreamt of having some interesting time in a foreign country with a more open culture".

The flashback stops as her friend in the next desk asks.. "what Latha you are not starting home.. your bus is at 6 na".

Latha came home that day, and phoned her hubby. "What you are not home yet... oh .. I didn't make it this time too.. hmm. mm. not in any mood for a movie.. you get food when you come back... come early i am hungry... ok ok"

After a while, Latha was in her couch with the newspapers in hand and the TV was running a breaking news stuff with three people at the same time on TV debating something.. the usual stuff she thought... and was more into the papers. She was on to the job opportunities supplements soon, and was seeing casually whether any miraculously good 'software architect' job was available... one was looking neat with promising lines.. and she bent over it.

"Wanted architects who can get our software and our client systems happily married.".. it said. Latha smiled and looked at the profile advertized.
Meanwhile, the breaking news on TV took a break for an AD. No noise from the TV, and latha turned to see what was happening on TV.

She saw this silent AD which showed a happy girl playing with friends.. all captivating, clear images of the child happy... after a few seconds, the child was shown standing alone near the tree where all were playing, while the other children were waving to her leaving the place with bags from around the tree.. at a distance it looked like a school where many other children were also going... the girl was looking at the school and the children with a kind of disconnection.

After the images, the AD showed a text message.
"Parinda cannot go to the school.. because she can't hear or speak."
and there were other messages about the organization placing the public AD on TV...which Latha wasn't yet looking at.. because she was still having the thought about the line she read and the child she saw.

Latha felt very disturbed about the AD.. she felt very connected to the girl and her feelings shown on the TV, for she wanted to name her child 'Parinda'.. when she and venkat had one.. if it was a girl child.

The newspaper AD was out of her memory, her office was out, she even forgot she was hungry.

Parinda, is a lovely hindi work for a pigeon.. or sometimes just for a lovely white bird. And Latha was deeply connected to that name ever since she thought over it right from college where she would discuss all plans with some very close female friends about a happy married life with some Mr.handsome.

Latha even convinced her husband venkat a caring person, that they will have their first baby after they can settle down at a comfortable economy in a couple of years from marriage. They were happily married for 3 years now.

Venkat, sometimes would lovingly call her parinda when he sees Latha after a long business trip, and they cuddle up in that couch as friends meeting after a very long time.

She loved thinking about how connected she was to 'parinda', compared to wasting time remembering what happened on her first day at office or even that grinny raghavan. Latha was having a lot of thoughts.. which she was able to evolve slowly into some brainstorming within herself with all the experience her software job had got her in brainstorming or imagining stuff.

After a few hours.. while Latha is still on her thoughts, the bell rings.. it rings again and Latha goes to the door. Venkat greets her with a 'tadaa' like in the intel AD, and a pizza in hand... 'your favourite, with lots of cheese and two packs of your favorite sauce' he says as he smiles his way in to the house.. while Latha fails to catch up with the excitement and just smiles slightly.

"What, you are not hungry.. am i very late.. oh still thinking of your appraisal.. ha ha.. drop it darling.. it will happen, they are probably having meetings now and discussing about making you the Ceee Eeee Oooooo".. says venkat.. trying his best to see his wife smile.

She does smile.. and goes off to get plates.
Then they cuddle-up back on the couch with the pizza...in front of TV.

Latha is still disturbed a little and so doesn't see the TV, but enjoys the warmth she shares with venkat, disturbing him from watching TV or eating pizza. Suddenly then, venkat says, "So, now tell me, what was it you were worried about.. doesn't look like it was your appraisal alone".

Latha sits up, cuddles up on venkats shoulder and tells him about the AD on TV, and how it disturbed her, and how she felt connected to the girl 'parinda'. "oh, the girl's name was parinda is it..", asked venkat gesturing he understands the feeling that should Latha should be having.

They both continue finishing the pizza and go to bed. Venkat tries the first page of the newspaper as usual, while Latha seems restless sometimes picking up her book..or just trying to retire to sleep.. or just going around looking for water returning with a bottle of it but lies on the bed kind of forgetting to drink the water.

venkat, allowing her to settle down, just continues reading the paper for sometime and tries to
sleep...without asking again why Latha was seemingly disturbed. venkat didn't have to ask, he knew her and what could be running up in her head right now about the TV AD and wanted to allow her have her thoughts as if she was alone in the room. venkat knew her thoughts will do good to her, because he himself prefers loneliness when he has his internal brainstorming.

The needle goes past 3am in the night, and Latha rolls back and forth on the bed occassionally, still not asleep.

The next morning when venkat wakes up, he sees Latha as fresh as always, as if she slept very comfortably.

They exchange a hug with their 'good mornings' as Venkat smiles at her.. Latha looks bright and actually more happier than she was the days before.. venkat assumed she got her head into something interesting which she should be feeling happy/proud about.

They get on their everyday 'rise and shine' process and as venkat leaves for work, he asks Latha.. "Looks like you have been having some interesting thoughts about yesterday's AD on TV,.. I can wait only till weekend to hear about it". venkat's guess was straight on, and latha could not love more as to how much he understood of her.

"yes. I am planning good, not like you do, 'schemer'", she quips with a laugh teasing him on his often funny attitude of planning an interesting scheme of things to tease Latha.

"You are not going to office today ?" venkat asks.. and says with eye brows raised and a cunning face.. "I mean, even if you want to put your papers, you have to go to office and tell them right.. ". They both laugh at that, as Latha says, "I am just going late.. You always wonder when I will put my papers.. get off you schemer".. "tata, tata" she waves him with all smiles and the everyday exchange of fun before leaving each other for office ends.

Latha settles down in the couch with a pen and paper, in all thoughts and all plans of whatever that ran up in her mind all night yesterday. After about an hour of scribbling on paper, she leaves for work, carefully folding the paper and saving it in the drawers of her room's table.

After work, Latha returns home more merrier.. definitely not looking like anybody back from office especially somebody returning late.

Just when she has reached home and freshen'd up, venkat comes home. As she opens the door, her smile largens because she knows it is venkat, and she says a loud 'Tada' before venkat does.. Venkat, taken aback a little, stares at her for a moment as if he is verifying it is his house and he is seeing his wife. .. and smiles saying, "Nope, you didn't scare me.. try tomorrow". As he removes his shoes, "so.. whats'up... what's all the excitement about?".

".. wait wait.. let me guess"...he says..

Latha smiles as she expects some stupid guesses.

"hmm. you put your papers..", says venkat
"no", she smiles.

"hmm... your HR raghavan put his papers..", he says with a brightness.
She laughs at that for a moment, recovers, and says.. "no... why him.. poor guy"

Latha breaks this with.. "ok, its like, I am just happy about myself.. nothing has changed...really".

Venkat smiles.. "oh, really.. no no.. what is it".

Latha: "what what is it.. nothing. just had been thinking about myself, what I am doing, what I can do, all that, and I am happy I had all those thoughts.. and..."

venkat teases her.. "yea, last night.. I saw you were sleep walking."
Latha smiles and says.. "you only do all that sleep walking.. even in the day... i was doing awake walking.."

Latha taps her head for embarrasingly stumbling on the word she said.. and laughs.
Venkat says.. "that's nice, I never knew my wife had such talent like...", gesturing with his hand, ".. awake walking.. should tell neighbours and feel proud".

They both laugh at that and break for the dinner table. After dinner, they sit in the couch and Latha tells him, what she was thinking about, and what all plans she has for herself next.

Latha:
"I plan to try doing something small every week to the society through some non-profit organization or through my own group of friends, at these little, sweet schools where they teach mute/dumb children, and probably we will support one child every year at these schools.. and something like that gradually feeling good for myself.

No I am not putting my papers.. I will continue there, its a nice office, and hr raghavan is a wonderful man.. for his big smile and attitude that actually can get any depressed person bright and happy at his instance."

Venkat is all ears to her, and nods occassionally to some of the great views Latha is expressing in such a modest and innocent way, and admires her more as her face reflects a childish seriousness as she speaks. For venkat, this is a beautiful day, for his wife is growing up to life and he watches her like he would watch his first child make her first steps, if and whenever one is born that is.

Latha continues:
"Like you always say, though never seriously sounding like you are advicing me.. I am not going to be waiting for a break like the one I always keep expecting from office, but going to take all opportunities that I can see, as my next break in life.

Again like you often say, I am much better than what I assume I am.. otherwise why would I be having all these thoughts even... and I am going to be a much happier person now on, trying never to crib at work or home, neither looking for breaks that are not visible and losing sight of all the breaks around me.. with family, work opportunities, social responsibility, my dance class.. yea i am going to get back to it.. my workouts.. yes, even that... and importantly do the 'tada' to you first.. " she smiles and they hold each other's hand.

venkat holds his head by the hand resting on his knee gesturing he is listening still.

Latha:
"You always said all these things.. but only now it seems to make sense. I am not going to waste time dreaming of us vacationing in hawaii or going to the USA on work permits through office.. and all that.. all that like you say might not be the breaks that we want.. but just temptations.

And I am going to be open about life, especially the fun part, be more open towards people, friends, who care, and go out with them occassionally on these dinner parties or get-to-gethers... and talk to them.

You always invite me to your office get-to-gethers, but I always assumed it was about boozing, or just eating junk at a luxurious hotel, and never got the idea of meeting people and making some contacts to have better opinions about life, what all we could do with contacts.. etc.,

Also, I think I will get my break only when I become capable.. "

Venkat breaks her here to say.. "Its not that you are not capable.. don't think people who become senior managers or who get to work in other countries are getting their break, not neccessarily.

Its about what you are passionate about doing.. and whether you have done that or tried that to understand it is your passion. You just have to feel passionate about everything, whatever you do, which you already are, but just that you have expectations of every work you do.

Expectations are fine, but sometimes when your expectations are not met, you get disappointed or feel like you are not doing it right.

All these thoughts you have are great, you just gave yourself a break from all this activity around your life, about the money, about what people think of you, what people expect of you, all that, and you are thinking of yourself. This is your break."

On that, Latha smiles, and says, "I will show you a list I made, but you shouldn't laugh.."

Venkat laughs, and says.. "Lets see what list you made."

Venkat takes the paper Latha gives him, and reads, "2 kg rice, 1/2 kg potatoes, .. whats this .. i was expecting some other list"

Latha laughs at that saying.. "that is for your break now.. you never go to the stores for household things na.. so today you go shopping for these... and this is the list you were expecting".. hands out another paper.

"Its funny, you took your break, and start giving meee work yaar.. what kind of break is this."..says venkat, and reads from the paper.. "TODO: Give one poor child a hug with a smile and a choclate every week, Go to dance classes, Go to gymnasium, Don't make coffee for V.. why not.. "

Latha laughs.. "read on.. "

".. Do something for a mute and dumb kid, with resources collected from friends, atleast one kid every year, Learn sign language, and teach it to such kids who will need to learn things through sign language, Teach these children to read and understand written languages, though they can't hear or speak, and try to start a school with vocational courses for such things..

hmm.. not bad Latha.. you have work to do till another 5 years... just see if you can make me principal of this school when i retire yaar.. "

They exchange smiles.. and Latha seems to get more shy as venkat goes to read the next things on the list.

".. let v know you are interested in ".. venkat breaks reading there and looks at latha.

They cuddle up in the couch.. this time around quite romantically.

The last words on the paper were "..let v know you are interested in having parinda"

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Author's note:
Yea, my simplest first attempt at a shorty.. post your opinions.
And this was not something I had in my dreams.. but just a story that evolved as I made sure I have to make a shorty and put it here. I hope more will come, and they will be better.

Thanks for reading.. .yea yea.. and the huge fan following that's already piling up.

Take care.
'Harish