Harish Palaniappan's

Notice that... this is not about falling in love... Unfortunately, its about failing in love.

Love, love and only love. Loving someone and getting the same kind of care in exchange makes one feel, what a doggie feels seeing its master after spending days lonely when he was away, what a child feels when it sees its mom after staying a long time(5 or 6 minutes) not seeing her, and what a mom feels when she breast feeds her child.

But, failing in love when you have to take that inevitable break-up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, feels much painful than all the above not happening.

The first poetry in any person evolves out of his love for something or someone.... and often, the last poem is also so.

Failing Love just short circuits a free current and burns up either terminals. Its never easy on both sides.

Breaking-up a relationship, a guy occassionally takes to a feeling that the girl probably isn't as hurt as him, or as bothered as him because she keeps the break-up active by not responding to short time communication (sometimes tried to make the break-up smoother). While a girl most often closes down all doors to the boy she broke up with thinking he is going to be better, and that keeping herself closed helps her overcome the trauma. Eventually, both of them end up using a lot of their brains in avoiding each other if they feel the breakup is inevitable.

Failing in love, pains all hearts that felt the love, and burns up all hearts to some extent making them tougher and more reserved about relationships in future. There can be no argument whether its the male or female of the species that are more happy with love, or more hurt with break-ups. And just because someone who broke-up made up their mind on a new relationship, in a short span, doesn't mean they are unhurt... the heart and mind of the person will still be hurt and the person may be trying to move on with it, not waiting for sympathy.

People credit everything a person feels to the brain or the mind, except love.. which everyone connects as a feeling of the heart. Its probably because the heart is the central piece of the body and only the feeling of love is greater enough to be related to it.

People who break-up have to move on... and this page is for those of you.

Trying to forget the relationship is not a sin like all lovers think...but a sensible thing to do.

When you love,
your priority of importance for people changes to
your love, your love, your friends, parents, and the rest (which you dont remember almost)

When you fail in love,
your priority becomes,
nobody, nobody, nobody.... (you ask: is there anybody who cares about me).

After an inevitable break-up,
..Make up your mind,
..Blow up the excess thoughts, the cry, the fear of missing your love,
..Stop... drinking, smoking etc., are not things that ease the process, they are things that spoil the body and make the mind lose its capacity to think. Taking up to drinking alchohol to supress depression is like killing the ant that is biting your toe with a gun pointed at your toe.
..Talk to friends, family, people all things you feel good about....(there are things that you felt, and still feel good about.. you are just ignoring if you didn't notice)
..Dress up, look neat, like a star ...you still need to glow, not to find another relationship, but to make people look at you as a brave and handsome person and not some junk.
..Smile at people... when they see you.. make them feel good. Dont think doing this you are hiding your problems and its wrong. Most important thing is, dont look around for sympathy.. it doesnt help you or anybody. Sympathy only makes things worse, reminding of the pain that is to be overcome.

And if you are great, respond to those calls or messages from your love who you broke-up with, be naturally polite, happy, and approachable. Your love might need the help as much as you. But never sympathize with your love, or talk your way making it all your fault or your bad luck. Just talk things about moving on.

Failing in love, is as easy as falling in love. It doesn't happen to prove that two people aren't compatible, it happens because you are becoming increasingly incompatible from your compatible position, which may be due to various factors or people around you.

Don't think of living like Adam and Eve.. lonely on the planet, somewhere somehow, with nobody who knows you. Its no reason to throw others for any mistake they have not done. Love is important, but not the only thing important.. Achieving goals, meeting expectations of everyone, living life like a brave star are few of other things.

Don't think of death or isolation.. these are ways of running away from the problem rather than facing it and walking over.

Yes, it takes time to move on... removing the failure from your thoughts, but... out of all the things that you thought about doing to yourself, may be .. you can just give yourself time to overcome it.

There are people who look forward to you all the time for inspiration, big or small. Remember that..
And failing in love didn't happen to make you worse, it happened to make you better.

Hey, buddy, keep that heart, and yourself nice... "You are important"...not everybody understands love or a break-up...and walks out of it bold.. that's why you are important, as you made up yourself stronger.

Things that heal:
..Music, music and more lovely music (not love songs that make you waeeeeee.. c'mon are we still crying till here)

..Books (suitable for those who have a passion about reading... especially some favorite authors)

..Moving outside ... and visiting pals you missed, movies you missed, and a lot of get togethers.