Harish Palaniappan's

Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."
That's what we're afraid of .

Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a position which
allows me to make use of my commuter skills."
I think we can oblige.

Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.

Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."
We can hardly wait.

Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."
We'll try not to let it go to our heads.

Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.

Experience: "10 years of experience in fineancial budgiting and
transactions rigistering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.

Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."
If you insist.

Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your
consumption."
Yum. :o)

Skills: "Grate communication skills."
Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?

Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening,
interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh .

Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."
Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?

Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?

Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?

Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."
We're pretty shocked already .

Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the
two are usually inseparable."
Glad to hear it.

Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.

Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."
That should help with the flow of information.

.........my goodnes.. i had a stomach-aching laugh at that. Hope you too had. Have a great day. -Harish